✨50 Ways to Be A Better Lover✨
Hot Relationship Tips from Your Tantra Godmother
🦋
Lisa A. Rizzoli
✨Tantra Expert✨
Unlock 50 new ways to keep that
🦋 New Relationship Energy 🦋
flowing all the time...
✨1. Be Present in the Moment✨
Bring all your awareness and attention
to what is happening right now.
We feel when someone is being present with us and when they are drifting away in their thoughts... Staying focused and present in the moment with our lovers helps us feel seen, heard, and important.
✨2. Eye gaze with your partner✨
Make this a daily practice.
Gently gazing into each other's eyes helps us deepen our connection with one another.
Be sure you are doing this at eye level
so you don’t get a sore neck.
Include eye gazing into your love making. Leave the lights on, open your eyes, be present with one another and gaze into each other's eyes from time to time. Smile, breathe and feel the love.
✨3. Cook together✨
Preparing food together is nurturing to the body, the mind, and the soul.
Prepare meals with love in your heart. Perhaps you sing, dance a little with each other as you cut the vegetables or sauté the food.
How can you infuse more love, more sexiness into this food preparation?
✨4. Eat together✨
Be flirty at the table, as you take that bite. Think of a sexy time, smile as you place that morsel into your mouth.
Give your lover a thrill as you slowly take that bite, allowing the saliva to fill your mouth, maybe you lick it while gazing at your lover with a sultry look. Slowly chew that bite.
Take your time to really enjoy the flavors and show your partner how much you are enjoying this moment.
✨5. Share 5-10 wins each and every day with your partner✨
This helps us get out of the complaining about our day mode and into the celebration of the day mode.
Decide together how many you would like to do, get a win journal for each of you, write your wins.
Then alternate sharing them.
One of you shares one, then the other shares one. Let it be fun and celebrate each other in your wins.
✨6. Read a book together that enhances your conversations✨
Take turns reading it to each other.
Perhaps one paragraph and then switch or one page then switch, whatever feels good to you.
Allow yourselves to be open to conversation about what you just read. Feel into each other’s perspectives, experiences and wisdom.
✨7. Come into full body hugs at least once a day✨
Standing or lying down together fully embrace.
Feel each other melt into the moment. Open your heart, allow the love to flow freely between you in this embrace.
Allow it to last for at least 10 seconds and more.
✨8. Breath together✨
In Wild I teach several different types of breath to do together.
For now, inhale together for a count of 4, hold the breath for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold empty for a count of 4.
Repeat a minimum of 4 breaths. Do this while eye gazing, see what happens.
✨9. Share a fantasy with your lover✨
Check in first and ask permission. Be vulnerable and real. Can you listen to your partner’s fantasy with a sense of wonder and delight?
There are several versions of fantasies:
1. A fantasy that will never actually be played out, it is for our mind’s only;
2. A fantasy that we can role play but doesn’t want to be actualized;
3. A fantasy that we can actually do.
When we step into vulnerable sharing it opens our relationship to a deeper connection as we accept one another in this state.
✨10. Create sacred space together✨
Create a unique space in your home that is for a specific use.
For example, make your bedroom a space that is special for your connection time.
You could place candles around, timer candles are great for creating the atmosphere of LOVE.
You can create a couples altar on a nightstand or dresser, placing special mementos of your relationship on it along with candles, flowers, crystals….
Perhaps have erotic art or special tapestries for your room.
Keep this space sacred by honoring it as such, define what that means for you both.
✨11. Put on some sexy, sultry music and do a strip tease for your partner✨
Set yourself up to win by telling your partner you have something special planned for them.
Blindfold your partner, put them in a chair, dim the lights, put on the music and begin the dance.
Laugh, giggle, breathe and enjoy the moment.
✨12. Text sweet, sexy messages to your partner throughout the day✨
Let them know you are thinking of them and you desire them.
✨13. Ask your partner to self pleasure for you✨
This one might be a bit edgy, all the more reason to do it.
When we can open up in this vulnerable way, we get to have a deeper, more connected relationship.
Also, this will give you so much information about what your partner really enjoys, pay attention this is a game changer.
✨14. Share gratitude and appreciation for your partner each and every day✨
Please and thank you go a long way, especially heartfelt ones.
Take the time to thank each other for all the things that you do for one another, like cooking dinner, doing the laundry, making the bed, vacuuming, going to work, buying groceries, taking care of the kids…
✨15. Kiss for a minimum of 6 seconds✨
Engaging in a six-second kiss increases oxytocin in your brain, the hormone that is known as the bonding hormone, lowers the stress hormone cortisol, and lets you and your partner feel more deeply connected.
✨16. Give your partner a foot rub✨
Go all out.
Soak their feet in a warm Epsom Salt Foot Bath, get some really nice foot lotion.
You don’t have to be an expert, you get to feel into what works and what doesn’t.
Ask for feedback often, “how does that feel?” Be present with them as you knead and rub their feet, in between the toes, the ankles and all those tender spots.
Breathe into your heart, exhale from your heart through your hands into their feet.
Send your love, your compassion, your respect.
✨17. Play Nude Twister✨
Make it fun and sexy.
Perhaps you play a game of strip poker to get nude and then break out the Twister game.
It gets to be fun and filled with laughter, joy and bliss.
You could use coconut oil or a favorite massage oil, see what happens when you add this element into the game.
Let the energy guide you into what happens next.
✨18. Offer a bathing ritual to your partner✨
Draw a luxurious bath with candles strategically placed around the area, essential oils, perhaps you put flower petals in the tub or on the ground leading to the bath, get creative this is your ritual.
Wash their body, slowly, sensually.
Wash their hair.
Again be present with them, stay in the moment and really focus on breathing into your heart space, expanding with LOVE and exhaling that LOVE out of your hands and into your partner.
These moments create life time memories.
✨19. Hold hands often✨
When you are walking, hold your partner's hand.
When you are eye gazing, hold your partner’s hand.
When you are snuggling, hold your partner’s hand.
When you are having a wobble, take a breath and hold your partner’s hands.
Much like the 6 second kiss, holding hands activates oxytocin production, which helps you feel closer, more connected, the love and bonding to your partner AND holding hands can reduce the cortisol response to stress.
So hold hands and deepen your connection.
✨20. Practice sensual touch✨
Explore each other's bodies without any specific goal in mind.
Use soft, gentle touches to awaken sensitivity and connection.
Take your time and encourage curiosity about each other’s responses, find those erogenous zones.
Remember to breathe into your heart, expand the LOVE and send it out from your heart into their body.
✨21. Engage in a Tantra meditation✨
Spend time in meditation together, focusing on each other's energy.
Sit facing each other, close your eyes, and visualize sending energy back and forth between you.
This can help create a powerful bond and deepen your connection.
✨22. Create a candlelight ritual✨
Light candles together while reflecting on your love story or what you appreciate about one another.
Allow the gentle glow to set an ambiance of love and intimacy.
✨23. Slow dance together.✨
Put on soft music and sway to the rhythm.
Allow the moment to bring you closer through gentle touch and eye contact, focusing on the feelings of connection and affection.
Studies have shown that dancing together reduces stress, increases levels of the feel-good hormone serotonin, and helps develop new neural connections.
Doesn’t it just make sense to dance with your lover?
✨24. Write each other love letters✨
Write heartfelt letters to one another.
Hide them in spots where your partner will eventually find them.
I love to do this when I am going on a trip, putting notes around the house for him to find while I am gone.
It is a beautiful way to express feelings while letting your partner know you are thinking about them.
✨25. Explore sensory play✨
Use music, scents, and textures to heighten awareness and pleasure.
Blindfold one another to enhance the other senses, exploring different textures and aromas.
Explore and enjoy.
✨26. Create a vision board together✨
Share your dreams as individuals and as a couple.
Create a space where you can both visualize the future you desire, fostering intimacy and shared goals.
In the Wild program, we take these vision boards and use them in a unique Sex Magic Ritual.
✨27. Enjoy morning rituals together✨
Start your day with intimacy by sharing a morning ritual, like the Loving Myself Awake Meditation (click here for the complimentary audio version), cuddling, eye gazing, making love or sharing intentions for the day.
✨28. Practice gentle conflict resolution✨
When disagreements arise, approach them with love and understanding.
Focus on resolution rather than winning an argument, which fosters mutual respect.
In the Wild program, we ask ourselves “What would love do?”
✨29. Schedule massage sessions with each other regularly✨
Take turns giving each other massages, learning about your partner’s body, preferences, and desires.
You could even take a massage class together to enhance your skill sets.
This is a great way to practice being present, touching with LOVE, appreciation and gratitude.
✨30. Create a special tradition✨
Start a new tradition that’s meaningful to both of you.
It could be a monthly date night, an annual getaway, a trip to a hotsprings, floating down the river, exploring a new hiking path… Be creative.
How do you want to celebrate your relationship?
✨31. Create a love jar✨
Write down reasons you love each other, special memories, wishes for your future together.
Once a week, pull one out and share it with each other.
Cultivating love.
✨32. Explore role-playing✨
Step into different characters or scenarios, dress up, adding an element of fun and playfulness to your intimacy, while also deepening your connection through shared experiences.
✨33. Bring Tantra Sacred Sexuality practices into your love making✨
Practice the art of presence, stay focused in the moment with your lover.
Change the tempo of your usual love making.
Make love with the lights on.
Eye gaze, breathe together, move energy through your bodies, feel the love and connection.
Men learning to become the master of your sexual energies is one of the key concepts taught in most Neo-Tantra courses.
In my course Discovering Bigger and Better Orgasms, I break down the techniques in an easy to follow approach that allows you to have full body orgasms and even multiple orgasms through this specific technique that I have developed and shared with thousands of men over the years. Click here
Women learn to expand your wisdom and knowledge of your sensuality by using the Yoni Egg which is a practice that has been evolving for thousands of years.
This practice helps you discover those pleasure points within your yoni (vulva) and how to access them so that you have more pleasure in your body, more orgasmic bliss.
In the course Explore Your Pelvic Floor:Yoni Egg, Womb Wisdom, I show you how this ancient practice weaved with modern science can, in fact, bring you more pleasure and connection with yourself and your partner. Click here
✨34. Share a daily moving-the-body practice✨
Move together in a way that feels natural.
This could be dance, yoga, walks, working out, or any physical activity that fosters connection and joy.
Moving the body helps us move energy in and through our bodies.
✨35. Make a sexy desires list✨
Create a list of intimate experiences you both want to explore—whether it’s trying new positions, visiting romantic spots, or planning adventures.
This encourages communication and opens up new avenues of pleasure.
✨36. Create a Tantric ritual before intimacy✨
Set aside time before intimacy to perform a sacred ritual that involves breathing together, eye gazing, moving energy and gently massaging each other.
This allows you to build energy and connection before you move to more intimate activities.
✨37. Watch an erotic movie together✨
Choose a film that explores sensuality and intimacy.
Discuss it afterward, share your thoughts and feelings, which can lead to deeper conversations about desires and fantasies.
✨38. Go to an adult toy store together✨
Look at all the toys, devices and novelties.
Choose something to purchase that you can explore how to use and create more pleasure.
It gets to be fun.
✨39. Have a “No Pants” day✨
Dedicate a day to hanging out at home or wherever works for you, nude.
Allow your bodies to feel free and connected, setting the stage for a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.
✨40. Plan a surprise weekend getaway✨
Take your lover away from the daily routine with a surprise romantic weekend.
Being out of your usual environment can bring an exciting sense of adventure and intimacy.
✨41. Whisper “sweet nothings” to your partner✨
Whisper intimate things into each other’s ears—compliments, desires, a story or secrets.
The closeness and sound of your voice can create a much more passionate connection.
✨42. Create a sexy playlist✨
Curate a playlist of your favorite sultry songs that get you both in the mood.
Play it during your intimate moments to heighten the atmosphere of love and passion.
✨43. Make your partner’s ringtone on your phone to YOUR song✨
Everytime you hear it, it will remind you of the LOVE you share.
✨44. Try the five senses game✨
Take turns choosing something that encompasses each of the five senses to share.
For example, the taste of chocolate, the sound of your favorite romantic song, the smell of a candle or essential oil, the touch of soft fabric, and the sight of a favorite photo.
This can lead to deep discussions and reactions that heighten intimacy.
✨45. Write a short erotic story together✨
Create a story together, taking turns adding a sentence or paragraph.
You can do this in a text message, it leads to a hot, sexy day of texting with your lover.
Let your imaginations run wild and explore desires in a fun and creative way.
✨46. Build anticipation with teasing✨
Take turns giving each other a slow, sensual tease by exploring each other’s bodies lightly and flirtatiously, stopping just short of what you know your partner craves.
Build that delicious tension.
✨47. Explore body painting✨
Get some body-safe paint or yummy dessert items like chocolate or caramel syrup…. take turns painting each other’s bodies.
This playful and artistic act can lead to sensual moments and increased intimacy.
✨48. Create your own moon ceremonies✨
New moon and full moon ceremonies can be extremely potent in activating and cultivating sexual energy.
Place candles, crystals, and water in the moonlight.
Dance around the fire, play your drums or other musical instruments, sing, howl, laugh make this a monthly ritual for you to share.